Why I’m Here
Hi. Welcome. Thanks so much for dropping by this little corner of the internet. Here’s a story about me and why I started this site.
In the summer of 2010, I had just graduated from Teacher’s College. Before that, I had finished a master’s degree in English Lit., as well as my undergrad. I had just gotten married two years earlier and my husband and I moved into an in-law suite at my sister’s house. Life was going beautifully: I was living with my wonderful husband and my sister’s family (who are our best friends), I was about to start a great career, and I had finally finished university.
If this portion of my life were a movie, this is the part where the ominous music would start playing over the idyllic scenes of domestic bliss. Nothing outwardly tragic happened: no one died or contracted some rare disease, but suddenly, life as I knew it got turned inside out. I started having panic attacks. Like waves on a stormy beach, they started off small, but eventually became huge, engulfing, and terrifying.
I had no idea what was happening to me. Nine years ago, people didn’t talk about anxiety nearly as much as they do today. I had never experienced anything like it and had never talked to anyone who had either. Later of course, I would meet scores of people who have gone through this, but at the time I felt utterly and terrifyingly alone. I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t think straight. It was the hardest thing I have ever endured, and though I would continue to struggle with anxiety over the next few years, that summer was the lowest point of my life.
Like a lot of the pain we experience, however, that low point ended up being the catalyst for enormous learning, healing, and transformation over the years. A couple years later, ten months after giving birth to my first child, I enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training. There, I began to unravel some of the mystery of this pain I had been carrying. Through the practices and teachings, as well as listening to other people’s stories, I began to gather beautiful tools for recognizing and healing pain.
I started teaching yoga and began ravenously consuming as much information as I could about yoga, anxiety, relaxation, stress, and the nervous system. I read articles and books constantly, enrolled in online trainings, and eventually took a second Yoga Teacher Training. Along the way, I decided to leave my teaching career (while my babies were babies) and opened a yoga studio, Shine Yoga. I taught classes, workshops, and retreats. It was beautiful. Then two years ago, I felt called to return to the classroom. I loved teaching yoga, but I knew it was time to shut down the studio and return to teaching (that’s a story for another day).
So here’s the crux of it: I started this site for that lost girl from nine years ago. For anyone who is feeling lost, scared, overwhelmed. Let this site be a light, a guidepost. I want to share what I’ve learned about anxiety, yoga, stress, the nervous system… all of it. I stopped teaching yoga, but didn’t stop loving it or practicing it. So here’s to the next step on the way back home.